Balance = a state of equilibrium = a stable situation in which forces cancel one another
Ah, to have BALANCE!!!
I have lost it somewhere along the way. I’ve lost the ability to keep our lives from amounting to nothing but medical, nothing but Mito. We’ve always subscribed to the idea that while the kids have Mito, they are not defined by Mito….and for a long time, I think we managed to pull that concept off. Mito clearly does not like that….Mito is a Drama Queen & likes to be the center of attention. Yes, I am assigning personality to this stupid disease….LOL. Mito has made sure the last two years that, just as soon as my mind wanders elsewhere, it throws a new curve ball our way that has to be dealt with. Yes, Mito is definitely a drama queen.
And I hate, hate, hate it. We all hate, hate, hate it.
Without balance in our lives, it’s virtually impossible to subscribe to our other idea, to take one day at a time and make it the best day it can be. I just cannot manage to do this when our roller coaster (of life) designer has made changes that now amount to nothing but ups, down’s & loop-d-loops. I need some flats to catch my breath and refocus on the hill to come. And apparently, I have to MAKE those flats, somehow, someway.
All I can come up with is to find balance, again. Find a way to live in the moment again. Find a way to not miss the good things because of the not-so-good/bad things, again. I have to find some way to stay on top of the things I have to plan for, while making distinct plans for the things we want to do, knowing at any moment it will all need to change. Easy peasy, as Abby says to herself when faced with a hill to climb on her bike. Easy peasy.
For what it’s worth, this is not a new revelation. It is though now a necessity that I find the answer and make the changes needed to live fully again…..to put the drama queen that is mito back in it’s box.
It is, without a doubt, time for a life re-design.
It is time to re-focus on the priorities that we WANT to be priorities, and while still maintaining the other needs, make it all somehow work together again. I have to believe it’s doable, somehow.
And this, my friends, is where I am required to relearn that old adage, Let Go & Let God. Clearly I still have a lot to do myself, but mostly I need to find my way to letting the Lord carry me here for a bit. It has always been overwhelmingly amazing when I have managed to do this in the past, but somehow I slip back into the old habits of trying to do it all myself and, well, we all know how that goes. If nothing else, I need prayers for my ability to really, really, let go this time.