Gosh, it’s hard. Keeping it, maintaining it, striving for it….it’s just hard. Rewarding and amazing, but hard.
Especially when we are here. In this place where, while I try valiantly to have there be fun, we are essentially living somewhere for medical reasons, keeping balance seems virtually impossible. The medical stuff is just too ever present.
Tonight I am failing, in my own head at least, to find a balance. My thoughts are on what is coming this week, and I am allowing concerns and worries to overwhelm me. I am allowing them to be there even when I am doing other things, and I am missing out on being truly present in the moment…..and I hate that. And while I would like to think that, now that I have come to the revelation, I will be able to get back on track tomorrow, I think the reality is more that it’s going to take getting home before that’s really going to happen.
If I can get things to settle down again….
(and that’s looking like a pipe dream in this moment)
But then, the reality is that by virtue of being out of balance, my perspective is less optimistic. I get that and know it, so am able to maintain hope that once we are there and I can recover, I will again feel like there is some way to get it all back in check, or at least enough of it to feel optimistic again.
We have actually had a relatively low-key weekend, with some neat experiences thrown in.
The girls had a sleep over with their bestest buddy down here, and clearly had a ball!! LOVE that they had this chance and that I could leave them in another mom’s care without so much as a second thought.
The kids have strengthened relationships with friends here at the House, particularly the girls, who have seriously bonded with two precious young ladies here. While we have known them both for a while now, they have become dear friends to my girls, and I LOVE that. Oh, and it was proclaimed by one of these precious souls today, that I am the coolest mom ever….yeah, nothing quite like hearing that from a teenager!! I have only made her repeat the compliment a few dozen times now, particularly within earshot of my children…LOL.
I have met some lovely people, have had the chance to strengthen relationships already started, and have again been reminded how grateful I am to my mom and all she does to help us.
So…sigh…..now we begin another medical week. We were able to get Madison’s labs done today, we head over for sleep studies tomorrow evening with the girls, and I learned today that Chance will be seen in cardiology late Wednesday morning. Barring anything unforeseen, we will be on the road Thursday morning heading for home…H O M E. Oh does that sound good right now.
The reality is, by day 8, things start to feel a bit surreal around here. J
Prayers for this week…..
That we hear back on Madison’s labs by Wednesday and that there is a clear cut way to approach the issues.
That the sleep studies are uneventful and we are able to gain needed information.
And finally, that our appointment with cardiology is productive, and either gives us the information we are seeking, or clearly shows Chance’s heart is not an issue.
Please too, keep some of our friends in need of prayers in yours tonight…..Cooper, Harley, and Eithene.